So I am returning to blogging

As I am overwhelming my facebook friends with my non-stop Percoset and Doxycicline fueled writing spurts.

Will this Yen to write continue again, once I am a) out of pain and b) not taking these medications any more?  Storm that I had Sleep Apnea cause I snore like a cartoon bear…but the night we had the final confrontation about that, with Baxter her sitter (who helps with her mood management on those long nights she cannot sleep) we looked up the Symptoms of Sleep Apnea:  Other than snoring LOUD I didnt’ have any other symptoms.  Until recently, i.e. the last 2-3 weeks, I would wake up between 4 and 5 AM and start right in on things.  Only recently has it been a chore to get up out of bed.   And walk the Dog in the cold and the dark.  And being progressivly tired at the end of Super Intense days of Crazy IT Support got worse, not because I was not sleeping well, but because I was trying to NOT go into full on Sepsis.

A week ago today I just about did that, as Amoxycilin was not doing anything for me.  I filled my new script for Doxyciline and just hours into the first dose, and after the second dose, felt a lot better.

But there was still that Abcessed Tooth trying to kill me.  And my immune system going full tilt trying to keep it OUT of my blood stream proper, even though the infection was full on in the Blood and nerve chamber of that tooth.

 

It’s a wonder I did not fall over and die during this…a very similar situation as to when I was walking around with an Abcessed Tooth in the last 3 months of my Dad’s life, and thinking it was just irritation from a broken crown next to that tooth.

As time passes, and my immune system settles down, and the toxins the infection were producing are fully flushing out of my system and NOT being replenished, I feel better and better.  The state it was putting me in was making me hate my job, my life, most everything.  I still have little motivation to read novels right now, even though I have a back stack I had wanted to read, I still just don’t care.

 

Oh, how was this similar to Dad’s last three months?  Well, Kevin spent 2 of the last three months dieing in the hospital, after almost having full on Kidney Failure last summer….that was taking up a lot of concern time…and at work while doing the rest of our jobs, we also moved ourselves and our sister company to a brand new building, actually a really nice one instead of a manufacturing building that had been converted into office space

 

At least since 2003, or since Bush first stole the Whitehouse with that Illegal Election, my Life has either been Too much going on all at once, or nothing happening at all.  No base line stead state to measure things by as a “normal day”.

 

Here’s to hoping my energy levels come back full, and that I start giving a fuck about things again.

 

 

No…

I don’t like this one either. It’s not even a record of the rise and fall of Mickey Moondust, or the Crash and Burn of the Right Reverend El Bonobo Bandito. It’s just used candy wrappers with crayon crawling blowing down an empty street that is half buried with sand…

Still not in the habit of blogging like I used to

I think the impending Psych Intervention I am investigating, working on, was enough of a distraction to derail it

Jesus H. Christ on a Rubber Crutch! I haven’t posted since Buddy Died

And that was six months ago. Sheesh. And yeah, it’s been six months of HELL since then. And I have resumed my unpaid Job of being a Medical Adovate, this time Storm’s (again) while my friend Sundi recovers from being Robert’s Advocate for 11 years, up until the day he finally lost his battles with his various terminal illnesses, but not the one he thought was going to kill him: AIDS. He was surviving that. He had survived Liver Cancer. But it was a 2 year battle with a bizzare and rare Fast Growing Sinus Cancer that only 3 other people had ever had, that finally did him in…after two different rounds of Chemo and Radiation. Sunday, Halloween, was his Birthday. Last year we didn’t think he was going to make it to that day…but was zooming along thru Xmas and New Years…only In February did he start to fall apart…when all had seemed to be going well toward full remission. The official word that he was terminal came on my Birthday in Mid March…and he died in the last half hour of my dead Father’s birthday at the end of the month…just missing being the worst local April Fools Prank ever (news of his death did not go out until the 2nd, to avoid such misunderstandings). Since Robert Died, since Buddy Died after that, it’s been a totally other world…with Storm finally getting real treatment for her Migraines, and a new Pug Rescue rescued Pug coming into our lives: this one with all four legs, but her kooter had fallen out: she was an escaped slave from a Puppy Mill, some where in south Riverside County.

Good-Bye Fat Little Man: Buddy Underfoot 1994?/1997-2010

We had to have Buddy “transitioned” to the next world this morning at Cuyamaca Vet.  He had a Massive Tumor on his spleen, and it was unclear whether or not it had metastasized.  We were looking at a lot of expensive procedures and surgery which Buddy might not survive long after they were completed.  Instead of prolonging his situation we made the most difficult decision of letting him go.  Dr. McMahan (sp?) was the attending physician and gave us a lot of time to say good bye to him, and performed the final procedure.

Buddy had been fading/failing for a while.    We thought it might just be extreme age (13-16 yrs) the hard life he lead before coming to us, and his continual problem with his weight.

He was his usual self when we left town Saturday to celebrate or wedding anniversary, and left him in the hands of our regular dog sitter, who also watches our house.  Sunday, as we were getting ready to come back he started to turn…but we thought from the description over the phone he was just exhibiting his usual separation anxiety…until he had problems again after we returned (I stayed up 99% of Sunday night with him, getting him to calm down and finally sleep) and then got a panic’d call from my wife while I was at work that he was having more problems, at which point she called Cuyamaca and the earliest they could see us was this morning.   It seemed bad, but it wasn’t an emergency situation.

We made last night one of the best nights focused on Buddy ever.  A Celebration of life, and his life with us:  giving him all of his favorite treats and a special dinner…suspecting the worst but hoping for the best….and no reason why he shouldn’t have one last super fun night, even if it wasn’t his last one.

But it was…so we glad we did.

We will be getting his ashes back some time in the next two weeks, after which we will have a private ceremony for him.

Buddy had lots of friends, who will miss him almost as much as we will.  Over the last year it had become harder and harder for him to walk more than 10-30 feet at time, so for any outing we had a re-fitted baby stroller we called his “Wheelie” and would take him down for walks in Balboa Park, La Jolla Cove, Chollas Lake Park, Normal Heights, etc….his last big outing being the Adams Avenue Roots festival where he became the “Darling” of all the “Young Hotties”….who would have thought that a 3 legged Pug with bad breath, a “gas problem”, and sounded like he was snoring just sitting there would stop Extremely Hot Looking women in their tracks so that they could pet him and have their picture taken with him.

Everywhere Buddy went, he made people smile.  And Laugh…with him.

We were lucky to have Buddy in our lives, as he came into our lives shortly after my Father passed away after a two year battle with cancer.  Even my too smart for her own good and snooty Norwegian Forest Cat came to love Buddy, more so in the last year…and has actually been sitting with him much of the last week, and lay down next to him last night, up against him….which she has never done before.  She is fiercely independent, and doesn’t like to sit on people laps, even mine!  But she was up against him last night for a time.    She knew something was up with him before anyone else, and she knows something is very wrong this time that we didn’t bring him home from the vet.

They had an interesting relationship over the last couple of years, he would try to steal her crunchies out of her bowl when no one was looking, and she would drink from his BIG water dish.

They were something of a reverse “Ren & Stimpy”, with her being the Evil Genius and He being the not too bright but BIG HEARTED goof ball.

One final word:  After Buddy was gone from this world and we spent the final minutes sending our last good-byes after him, as we exited thru the Lobby we found a woman holding a Pug in her lap, and next to her sat her sun, with a plastic pet carrier full of Pug Puppies…we learned moments later that the Mama was a rescue Pug who had delivered at the Shelter, and her Babies were just 3 weeks old.

Fate?

The road ends

Our friend Robert is dying.  Wasting away.  A lost battle to an ultrarare cancer….a fight raged this time round since 2008.

A second round of severe radiation therapy knocked it back, but only for a short while.

All we can do, right now, is try and make his final days as comfortable as possible.  A Neon Crystal Skull.  Cream of Baked Potato Soup.

Assassination of J. R. “Bob” Dobbs Jan 21 1984

The Node Cometh

I think this guy is psychic…at least about my brother…

Whoa….it’s almost been a month

Since I last attempted to blog here…in that time I made the mistake of trying to relaunch my Live Journal Blog (too many bad memories over there, and the final betrayal/revelation about some one)tried to return to a certain usenet news group, tried to restart the Fate Mire Rupture Zone….

All of which ended in tears.

Then there was my brother and subdued drama over THE HOUSE, i.e. my not returning his calls due to throwing up every time I heard his voice…and only being able to be around him sedated on kolonapin.

But I tweet in the mornings and evenings, and post thoughts on my Facebook, which I otherwise don’t use…oh…and posting on Greg’s discussion board for his books.

Ever since mid June, maybe earlier,as I finally landed a job after a year and the economy started to improve, life has been filled with twists and turns 180s and 360s and revelations…to where transition-shock has become my baseline state.

Before everything almost fell apart, and even afterward up to the Penultimate revelation, I was an avid journalizer/blogger…and the will to do that was ripped from me.

Well, uh…those energies were sorta diverted into a SciFi Spoof of Modern Amerikan Spirituality and Religeonism.

I have forgotten how to Blog

Will it ever come back to me?